I’m now over 4 months on T. *throws confetti* and I am still stuck in the androgynous stages. This is still somewhat ok for me since most times it’s actually funny to watch the gears in people’s heads turn as they try and figure out what gender I am.
But on the same coin, I feel like I’m spinning my own gears of disappointment when I hear the female pronouns thrown out at me. Which I would gander is normal for transmen in this stage but I digress. It still sucks.
I’ve started doing a small study in my head, a tally if you will, of how many times I’m being mis-gendered and by who. And I’ve noticed that I’m more likely to be mis-gendered by women than men. I’m sure I could go on and break this reasoning down to some primal instinct that women have over men but really doesn’t matter much to me. I just happened to notice it and thought I’d share. I’ve also noticed my gender representation is not safe in any LGBT setting as I’m more likely to look like a lesbian than a male.
While friends and family tell me a lot that I look and should be passing as a male now, public side is a whole other story. I’ve been sir’ed about 4 times total since January and Ma’amed a whole heck of a lot more. And sometimes I don’t even have to say a word before they throw it out there. I’m not sure how to really improve on this point seeing as my facial hair is still peach fuzz light in a lot of places. So until it darkens there isn’t much I can do except dye it and I don’t think that’ll go so well haha. Binding only goes so far for me and the only thing that would help would be surgery at this point. Which is out of the question mostly due to financial reasons beyond my control. Thank you America…
So at 4 months, almost 5 now, I’m stuck being androgynous. Hopefully towards the end of this year, it’ll be a different story. Until then I’ll keep trucking on. If any of you have any stories of your andron stage feel free to comment below.
(Also added a new picture of me in the gallery so if you’re curious on how I’m progressing head there :D)