Well I’m back here again. Still in the same boat as I was with my dad a while ago, but now my mother and her mom are pulling the same deal. -sighs-
I know my mother has issues with names. She refused for 3 years after my daughter was born to use the name I gave her because it wasn’t “normal”. I understand she likes “normal” which is such a contrast to other things she likes that aren’t of the ordinary. But I’m not a 3 year old. I remember things at 27. I have feelings I understand. Dysphoria and things I’m trying to cope with even more so now that I’ve stopped denying myself and have come out to everyone. Giving me excuses as to why I should just accept my birth name while trying to move on in my life is pretty disrespectful and harmful. Not to mention mildly insulting.
I get it. I really really do. I understand from both sides of the fence with this issue because I take the time to figure out why other people feel the way they do on things that they do in life. So it’s not like I’m blindly ranting. I understand why my mother and father are being stubborn. I understand that this takes time and it is just a bump in the road. At least I hope this is the case.
But all I ask is that when I’m around, respect my space and my choices. If not even for anything else except for the fact I’m a human being and deserve the most basic of respect for the choices I’ve made for the better of my mental health.
That’s all I really ask. I don’t want money, I don’t even want to twist your arm and make you speak to me anymore than you want to. I won’t shove my trans related topics in your face, or talk about how amazing my life has been and how positive I’ve been feeling about my self. I just ask that when in my space to please respect and use the correct pronouns and name I chose for my self. That’s it. No arguments, no telling me that it’s a name other guys use so I should just suck it up and keep using my birth name. Don’t tell me that because you picked it you’re going to use it. You got 27 years of using it. What’s done is done.
That name is attached to the female side of me that I’m dropping off. It’s gone. I came into this world stamped with a F and I’ll be leaving with the stamp of M instead. End of story.
I can only take so much. I’ll be as patient as I can physically and mentally be. But I will snap one day. I’ll pull back from you. You won’t hear or see me as often anymore. And when you’re left with wondering what’s been going on in my life, or how I’m doing. Remind yourself, that because you refused to respect my choices about my mental and physical health, that’s why I left.
I’ll always love my family, I just wish they’d learn to show it back in the correct ways.