You know, it’s pretty bad when I silently cheer when I see a story of older seniors (60+) who actually support the more open view of the world. It feels like, especially in this state, there are so few that you’re living in a silent cage where if you say something non conforming you’ll get your head chewed off or worse.
Today’s rant comes from the recent events with my son’s psychologist. The type of person who’s 70+, who’s polite enough not to say mean things to your face but their behavior and what they do say are just as damning.
I spent a solid week calling every number I could to find my son a therapist or psychologist because he’d been showing signs of ADHD since he was little. Well he started school this year and symptoms at school showed through, got worse etc. Placed in a new environment and all his teacher was concerned and so was I. So I called and called only to be told we don’t see kids that young or we don’t take that insurance. Finally found someone after that full week of anxiety and disappointment.
Make appointment and take him in. He’s bouncing all over the room, can’t stay focused for the life of him. He never really can unless it’s a topic he’s interested in. Talking to a women in her 70’s who would shake and cough wasn’t on his top list etc.
Anyways, she starts speaking to him while I’m filling out paper work the whole hour and a half. She makes a clear statement that he’s for sure ADHD and recommended force factor for kids and sets up a full evaluation and test appointment.
I purchase the focus factor and we continue that but doesn’t seem to be doing much. Get to his appointment, he goes in and I’m sitting outside waiting for an hour. I overhear pretty much everything he and her are talking about. She gets to pictures of adults and he says, “I don’t want to talk about that” Of course that peaked her interest and she starts asking him why and he ignores her and finally after prodding, he says, “They’re mean.”
So she finishes 5 minutes later and comes to question me. She asks if he’s been abused etc and I’m like.. “uh no? The most physical contact I’ve ever had with my son was a swift swat on the butt if he’s done something dangerous or dire. I’ve always stood by punishment being time out or a stern talking to. She looks down at me and asks how long I’ve been with him in his life. I answer of course, all of it. She asks where the mother is. At this point I have to break my silence and tell her I’m the birth parent. She gets even more confused and pushes who the mother is to which I have to tell her I am the mother.
The look of squeamish grossness she had was enough to make me go into a panic attack. I was so lighted headed as I felt my heart rate jump through my chest after outing my self. She then keeps pushing if there was anything as to why he’d say what he did. I’m now stammering as I’m trying to push through the damn adrenaline rush and explain that it could be a simple thing of him not liking us telling him what to do since the only thing we’ve ever done is raise our voices when he’d be screaming at us.
So she takes a jot down on her papers and switches gears. Well your son seems to have anxiety and he might be a touch of ADHD and maybe even PTSD. I’m silently screaming in my head that she’s going to blame this on my transgender status. I thankfully wasn’t told that in person. But she starts blabbing on about things with anxiety and how it’s hereditary which I can agree on seeing as I was having a damn anxiety attack right then.
After she stops repeating her self and going in circles she finally goes, “So we’ll see if we can get him a therapist or someone to take over his care and I’ll call you with recommendations later on” and I nod and just leave as quick as I could I was so mad at that point. The first appointment she said nothing but how she’d work one on one with him through his behavior issues and now she’s changed her tune once she found out I was trans.
I just got a call a few minutes from her. Our last appointment was last Tuesday so I’ve waited a while since she decided to call back. She says she’s done with her evaluation and has diagnosed him with mild ADHD, anxiety and speech impediments.(He has a slight lisp) and stuck her ground with him seeing someone else but gave me no numbers or names this time. Said she’d e-mail his eval to me and I can do whatever I want with it.
Hours waiting.. calling and I just magically fall on an old lady who decided my trans identity was more important than my son’s mental health. Great. I mean on one side of it I’m glad I avoided her in the long run if she was going to be this way about it all but on the other I’m now left with searching again for a therapist which is hard to come by apparently.
And you know, this isn’t the first time this crap has happened. Being a trans parent with a male spouse is like the perfect concoction to get called out and fucked over on. I /shouldn’t/ have to ask every time I call a new place if they are LGBT friendly just so I’m not treated like a freak of nature or worse.
I’m legit scared she’ll call child services still at this point against me being an emotional fuck up to my children because I’m trans.
I can’t wait till all the bitter, close minded old assholes leave this planet. If anything it’s one of the few reasons I’m still alive. So I can watch them all fall off and never bother me or others again.
On a mildly crappy note, my generic T is back ordered and won’t be available till beginning of December so I’m stuck paying $57 for a month supply until then. And the trans top surgery contest I wanted to enter, I couldn’t because one of the stipulations was you had to be saving up for it already. Kinda hard when I have two children to worry about first. Just fml.