It’s been a handful of days almost since my last journal and since I’m here for the ride, I thought I’d take you all along as well.
After the last journal, I spoke with a few people and hashed out a few things. Made myself a list. And I’m starting to finally feel like my hands are back on the wheel. At least one hand.
I’ve still got that sinking feeling but now it’s mainly because the final approval comes tomorrow from my surgeon and she’s the most important voice of all. I’ve been struggling for 2 months to get this acne I have on my chest under control. Daily creams, washes etc. I’m even on oral antibiotics with mild results. I’m trying. And I think I’m just going to tell her, I’ll risk it. She may not enjoy that but I’ve already taken the time off work. I can’t sacrifice more. Let’s just hope I’ve done enough.
As far as financial goes, I’m mostly ok. The only money I have to pay upfront is for my compression binder. I’m a bit shaky on additional costs of post op items at this point, that and missing a whole paycheck period. But as things often go, financially there was no way for us to completely prepare due to a lot of factors, mainly 2 out of 3 persons in the house not getting enough hours. But I can’t keep pushing this back anymore either. I mentally can’t keep going farther. I’m so hindered by these damn binders it breaks me not being able to do as much as I used to. I have to take this opportunity while it’s there and just scrape up what’s left and keep pushing forward.
From what I’ve gathered from information online, my post-op list looks ok. I’ll be preparing my house this weekend for when I am left alone at home. Most everyone knows that I’ll be T-Rex arms for 2 weeks or more and that I will need help.
I know that I could be an emotional wreck for quite a while after surgery. Which would be a nice turn around seeing as I tend to be an emotional brick wall. I’m sure the people around me won’t like it though, but I’ll try my best not to be a pain in the arse.
I’m oddly not too worried about results. From the work I’ve seen done by her, she’s an artist with a knife. Her work is wonderful and I can see the attention to detail from her. I just hope my stubborn body is an ok canvas for her.
And as far as pain goes, bring it. I’m not bragging but I seem to have a high threshold for pain so I’m not terribly worried. And no, I’m not a masochist. Just in case you were wondering lol.
Oh! If anyone is curious though about which procedure I’m having, it’ll be the Double Incision / Bilateral Mastectomy with floating nipple grafts. I’m naturally a C. So way too big for a peri procedure. I’m curious how the drains are going to be. I hear they can be a pain in the ass because they tug the skin. If anything, that part will probably bother me the most.
So I notice I’m starting to ramble.. I guess MOST of my entries are rambling but this one has started to just bounce around a lot more than I’d like. I’ll wrap it up here for now.
Last Pre-op app tomorrow 4/13@9:30
Surgery date: 4/17 Time: 8am
Last day of work before leave: 4/12
I’ll be updating this again sometime this weekend I’m sure, probably again Monday and then when I am able and willing, I’ll do a post-op update as well with pictures as time passes because why not look at my swollen bruised chest?